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-+Wednesday, October 28, 2009+-
hmm.. i dont know how to start this blog.. because this blog is kinda extra for me..
why i still wana wrote these?
if i didnt write these out i dont know what time will i going to bed..
(first, i wana say sorry if i got any wrong thinking or words that are sharp to you.. maybe.. i dont know)
when the first i move in...
i'm an EXTRA..
i'm the person who is not suppose to be here..
it makes me felt guity.. and i start asking myself..
am i suppose to be here?? should i move out??
i'm the last one who said want to join.. i should be happy + luckily because friends willing to squeeze with me..
but.. there are too many people here. is crowded i could say..
if without me, they must be more comfortable+more happy..
at first, i 'm thinking of moving out and stay with another friend..
but.. we are having different course.. my mom dont let me.. (i still got chance to get it)
haiz.. i had spent lots of money in this house.. i cant move out!!!!
i 'm not going to waste myparent's money.. even though i know they will allow i move out..
as i'm not happy staying here..
my house is full of joys right??
but i'm still feel that i'm alone even though it is crowded,,
start from begining,
i can feel like i'm isolated.. as most of them when going out are two by two..
and i? haha.. sure be alone la..
is impossible we can walk with three,,
sure got one person left out..
i know the feeling.. i dont like to left people out..
so, i prefer i left out by others.. rather than other left out by us..
stop ODERING me to do thing!!!
i had enough with this!!!!! WTF..
so silly do this do that!!! what the hell is that????
please do not blame me if i IGNORE you.. because i HATE!!!
i dont want to quarrel.. the only thing that i could do is ignore it..
i really dislike.. when i willing to use my things..
but unfortunetly i cant use.. because it is in use..
for example,
my table.. like a rubbish dump..
i cant even clean my table although i willing to.. because is in use..
do you know why i call my table as a rubbish dump???
this is due to someone(i dont know who is that).. likes to put unknown stuff +useless paper+many unknown things on my table..
DAMN FREAKING BLOODY MESSY!!!!!!
I HATE it!!!!
why got so many tables they didnt put.. why must put on mine??????
hmm.. haha.. always said that i like to talk on phone with him..
but do you notice that why i prefer to talk on phone rather to talk with you all????
did you even think about it??
PLEASE do not judge on me.. without thinking of the reason,,
dont say that i'm quite..
i'm not quite actually.. i 'm trying to be more talkative with you..
here comes the point... IS THERE ANYONE HEAR MY WORDS AND RESPECT ME????
hmm.. i could say almost NO... nobody want to hear the things that i'm talking about..
when i'm talking with a certain person A, A is like is there anyone in front of me? talking with me?? then is like hmm.. continue the topic with B.. and IGNORE me..
seem like i even never appear in front of them..
try to think about.. if you were i, willing to talk with a person.. but then person just pretend didnt see and didnt hear you, and continue talking with another..
what will you feel????? feel happy???? haha..
i really dont know what happened to myself.. i dont like,, really dont like when people take my things to use without asking my permission.. hmm.. i think if the stituation is not suitable to ask me,,
i'm ok with that,, but then.. after use.. dont even say thank you..
hmm.. if you want to talk something secretly.. please find somewhere else like balcony to talk about..
if you really do not want me to hear,, why dont you go out?
in stead of asking me dont hear or talk quietly among yourself..
lastly, please do mind.. dont make too much of noise..
when i'm sleep(this is settle, in the process of changing.. this i know.. just forget it)
thats your personality or characteristics..i dont want to bother about it.. but
sometime, in deep night.. can you please do mind about other???
will you feel that you will sleep like pig when the door opposite or the door beside you kept making noise even though is already "AM" still shouting like dont know what..
maybe you still awake.. still dont want to sleep but.. have you ever think about others??
they might study whole day long.. damn sleepy d..
do not make others as same as you..
here is another case.. when most of the friends are not in..
i planned to my to my relative's house. as another friend plan to go to friend's place..
but because of a sentence we stay in the house..
"dont you feel that you are selfish to dump us at home??"
on that time.. i really wana answer you.. dont you feel like you are selfish too??? i already told my mom that i will spent my weekend in my relative;s house.. you make me broke the promise..
is it you are not selfish at all?? you make your plan break just to make the house seem like more people accompany you.. got the idea??
chances + time were given... but the thing is you didnt realize it.. dont say that i didnt give you chances and time to improve..
soonly, my patient will reach a limit.. i dont know what will i do...
maybe thats all i want to say.. i'm going to bed now..
i dont mind what will you thinking about me.. that is what i want to say..
not face by face.. its kinda hard..
Gameboy-ing At 10:19 AM
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